One may think that I have dropped off the end of the earth, but that's not the case. The last time I blogged was October 22nd, my birthday. On October 23rd we found out I was pregnant. Yeah, wow. We had just started trying, and lets just say we hit a home run right out of the box. Well, we had three days of silly smiles on our faces. We had fun telling our families the great news and sharing the news with our kids. But... three days later I started cramping and spotting. I was able to get in to see a doctor, and after a couple days of blood test I was told I had miscarried. It was quite a shock. I have had two very "textbook" pregnancies. My doctor said that my hcg level (which is the hormone detected in pregnancy) was not rising quick enough. Well, to make a VERY long story shorter, I continued having blood tests done for several weeks only to find that my hcg levels continued to rise, but at a very slow rate. I had hope that this pregnancy may still be viable. I found an excellent website about misdiagnosed miscarriages and found lots of support there from women who had been and were going through similar situations. Just last week my hcg level has started to go down. I'm sure this is not a viable pregnancy now, and the healing can begin.
These last several weeks have been such a physical and emotional roller coaster. Most days have been okay, but I did have my share of very difficult days. If nothing else comes from this season in my life, I have certainly gained more faith in my Lord. I know He is the Great Creator and the Master of the Universe. If He can orchestrate the Heavens, well then He can certainly take care of me.
The following is the chorus to a song called Bring the Rain, by Mercy Me. This song got me through some very tough days.
Give me joy, give me peace, give the chance to be free, give me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain.
Yes, the rain did come, but as I sit here in my office with my two miracles napping in their rooms, I see a beautiful day outside with plenty of sunshine.
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Amy, You are so strong and I know God has so much in store for you and your family. We may never know exactly why these things happen but God sees our hearts and hears are cries. Hang in there and keep your head up. You have friends and family by your side every step of this journey and most importantly our Father in heaven!
Love you, Hope
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